The River of Nerves: Perimenopause and Mood

My mother was a self-confessed “worry wart” who steered her kids through their formative years on a river of nerves. Whether she was inclined to it or not, hormonal shifts leading up to menopause might not have helped. Anxiety can increase in perimenopause along with its cousin, depression. Its intensity will vary from woman to woman. Dealing with extreme moods when you’re trying to balance work, kids (if you have them) and parents (if you still have them), let alone a partner or the possibility of a new relationship, can feel downright unmanageable.

A Perimenopause Diary is an extremely useful tool to observe patterns about what’s happening physically. Perimenopause can last for ten years, starting with changes in your normal cycles and lasting up until a year since your last period is passed and you’re officially post-menopausal. Some women call this period of time menopause (Going through "the change"), but it’s actually perimenopause.

Many women will have night sweats, but you also may experience fluid retention, headaches, and fluctuations in sexual desire, frustration, anxiety and sense of self-worth. Seeing the patterns of how these things play out month to month can help you ride them through.

Moods aside (yes, I’m noticing them), I always find there’s one day in the month when I cannot find anything comfortable to wear. It’s not that things don’t fit, it’s just nothing appears comfortable. Absolutely nothing. I’d like to see the science of that.

At this point in our lives we may be as scheduled as we’ll ever be. If we’re parents, we’re managing school and homework, trying to inspire our kids to greatness and get them to eat vegetables (I doubt that’s just my cross to bear). If our parents are still alive, the relationships are taking on new dynamics as our folks become frailer physically and less resilient overall. If we’re in relationships, we’re trying to balance work/ life/love. It’s enough to make anyone wonder how she can possibly manage it all and “carve out quality time” as well.

If you feel you’re veering towards the worrywart persona, take heart. Keeping track of what’s going on can in itself help to manage what’s happening hormonally. It can also be a useful tool when talking to your doctor. Just knowing you’re going to get through it can be a boat on the river of worry. Climb in- there are many of us here. 

– Janet

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