January 11, 2010
Safer Sex: the practice not the partner
I’ve been reminded in a few ways recently that it’s not a good idea to make presumptions about people and what they do in bed. It came up in conversation with a friend who shared something about her sex life and then laughed a little. “My kids would be shocked by that,” she grinned. And American actress Meredith Baxter, who recently came out as a lesbian in her 60′s, highlighted that our lives are ever unfolding, and we don’t necessarily know what the next turn in the road will bring. One of the amazing things about growing older and gaining more experience is discovering that things are ever surprising. This is particularly true when it comes to sexual choices.
You don’t always know what’s ahead, or who might surprise you. But knowing about safer sex can help you along. When it comes to safer sex, it’s not “who you do, it’s what you do” that you need to take into consideration. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be passed between men and women, women and women, and men and men, despite what we might have been taught to believe and hold onto about “the sorts of people” who get STIs (ridiculous high school rumours anyone?).
I’ve blogged on this before, and it’s a drumbeat I think bears repeating cause it’s important to hear. You can become vulnerable when you start assuming only “certain types” of people get STIs and if you judge the person, you’re safe. When HIV first came to general attention in the public, many people thought they were safe because it was dramatically appearing in the communities of men who have sex with men. People thought of it as a “gay man’s disease,” and conservative thinkers claimed it was a judgment on "immorality". Well, that would be giving a disease the ability to think (and think in a biased manner at that). Viruses and infections don’t have brains. They just move from person to person, given the opportunity. And that opportunity is unsafe sex.
You may have sex with women, or men, or both. Your delights could include vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, a little bondage, and anywhere else your imagination takes you. However you explore your pleasure, make it safe. Get the facts on HIV and other STIs. It isn’t your partner, it’s how you do what you do together that can give STIs the chance to spread. STIs don’t think, but you do.
- Janet
Check This Out:
For those who enjoy a little varied play, see The Woman’s Survival Guide to Sexual Health: Anal Sex Tips and Techniques. One key tip is it shouldn’t be painful.
This blog represents the ideas of individual writers, and does not necessarily reflect any formal stance taken by Positive Women's Network.
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