Painful Sex? There’s Help for That

Ah, summer. If warmer weather has you feeling frisky, and you’re considering a discreet romp in the sand, you may end up a little grainy in some unexpected places. Ideally, that’s the only discomfort you’re going to feel. Sex shouldn’t be painful, and if it is, there’s help for that.

Does vaginal penetration hurt? You may have an undiagnosed yeast infection or STI. Many STIs are symptom free, but others can cause painful urination, itching, burning and painful penetration. Talk to your doc about STI testing.

Painful vaginal penetration could also be vaginismus, as one blogger describes in “My Vagina is Broken.” If penetration is okay but ongoing thrusting is painful, vaginal dryness could also be the cause. This can happen if you’re not fully aroused when penetration occurs, or it can also be an issue of hormones- perimenopause and menopause cause a decrease in natural vaginal lubrication. As ever, I sing the praises of lube. Find one you like and use it with condoms or dental dams.

Speaking of dental dams, if oral sex is physically uncomfortable, a dab of lube in between you and the dam can help. If oral sex is outside your comfort zone and that’s what’s making you uncomfortable, talk to your partner- he or she will be better informed about what feels like a good risk and what feels like too much. Despite the overwhelming info in mass media about how women should be sexually, you have a right to be exactly who you want.

If you’re into anal sex, but find it painful, go s-l-o-w. Relaxation is important. Rectal tissue is more delicate than vaginal tissue, so use lube for easier penetration. Use a condom too- there’s more to worry about than pregnancy.

Whatever your approach this season- sandy sex, slow sex, solo sex- make it yours.

- Janet

Check This Out: Celebrate Yourself with 20 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Vagina

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Youshouldknow.ca: sexual health news, views and science for women in perimenopause and beyond. Find info on preventing sexually transmitted infections, aging considerations, and relationship dynamics. Supportive information for all of us as we move into our middle years with partners new and old.