In with the New….

My summer of “light” reading has continued, plunging me headfirst into mind-candy, with the encouragement of my co-worker Miriam. I’ve loved it. The passage of one of my reads focussed on two characters who have just had sex together for the first time. One of them is worrying about lack of sexual experience and skill and the other reassures the worrier, saying her skills may change but it won’t make the connection any more authentic. How lovely is that?

Who doesn’t wonder about their performance when having sex with a new partner? Whether you’re eighteen or fifty-eight, there’s bound to be some tension about how it goes when you’re jumping in with someone new. Will it go okay? Will your partner find you attractive? Will you know how to heat things up? What about safer sex?

If it’s been a while since you were with someone new, think back to Salt N Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex.” It hit a high in the HIV-wary 90’s. Its message was to talk about STIs you and/or your partner might have, lest one of you end up with an STI or pregnancy surprise. Even if pregnancy is no longer a concern, a prevention discussion is important now that you’re back in the field. Talking to your partner about safe sex and using condoms/ dams to take care of each other is just as important as when HIV brought discussions about STIs to the forefront of sexual awareness back then.

The authenticity of a connection with a partner is being you, questions and all. So talking about sex is a good thing. All the better so you can enjoy it. 

- Janet
 

Check This Out: When Do You Give Up on A Guy?  

This blog represents the ideas of individual writers, and does not necessarily reflect any formal stance taken by Positive Women's Network. Read our comments policy.

Youshouldknow.ca: sexual health news, views and science for women in perimenopause and beyond. Find info on preventing sexually transmitted infections, aging considerations, and relationship dynamics. Supportive information for all of us as we move into our middle years with partners new and old.