Herpes Disclosure- Take Charge

I came across a New York Times post on herpes the other day, and in it a doctor is quoted as saying that the stigma of herpes is worse than the stigma of HIV. My initial response was to figure that doctor doesn’t have HIV herself. I don’t have HIV so I can’t claim direct experience, but with what I’ve learned in my work with women who are HIV+, I feel confident saying that the echo of the stigma of living with HIV probably goes farther than that of living with herpes. HIV stigma translates into discrimination around employment, housing, schooling, relationships, accessing medical and support services, and travelling for starters. For the sake of people with herpes, I really hope the stigma doesn’t go that far. For the sake of people with HIV, part of my work is dedicated to changing the stigma they have to live with.

But in talking about sexual relationships, for sure they both have their challenges.

Both mean that disclosure is going to be an issue with new sexual partners. When do you tell? How do you tell? Debatable is the question of if. In the case of HIV, non-disclosure could result in criminal charges. Biologically speaking, both viruses are presently incurable, although there are some treatment options available. Herpes is more readily transmitted and more common overall.

So what’s the best plan? Disclosure isn’t easy, of course. Rejection and judgment can come into play. At Positive Women’s Network, we recommend disclosure of HIV be planned in advance so you can practice what you want to say and how you want to say it. In the case of sex partners, get your facts on safe sex so you’re ready to answer questions.

Know you’re not alone, although people might not talk about it. Living with herpes or HIV doesn’t make you untouchable, although it may feel that way at times. They’re STIs. And they go around.

– Janet  

Check This Out: I’ve posted this one before, but it bears repeating- Susie says Herpes Not so Confidential

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