Getting Closer: Is It Time to Banish the Barrier?

January 25, 2010

Getting Closer: Is It Time to Banish the Barrier?

I do tend to go on about safe sex, but it’s my purpose to provide you with information about preventing STIs, and condoms and dental dams are top notch tools for the job. But yes, I know that a latex or polyurethane barrier is not part of everyone’s idea of enjoyable sex. For those who partner with men, they’ve likely heard about the negative aspects for years- condoms aren’t comfortable, they reduce sensation, and they’re a plain drag. Female partners may say safe sex isn’t necessary, but women can share STIs too. Like the Buddhist noble truth that “Life means suffering” a fundamental truth about sex is that it can pass infections from person to person.

Women aren’t always crazy about condoms or dental dams either. Skin on skin is lovely. Of course it’s your choice how far you go to au naturel. I just suggest you get all the information you need to make an informed decision. Have you and your partner talked about being tested and cleared for STIs?

Consider this: Humanpapillomavirus (HPV) is one of the most common STIs. Infection with certain types of HPV can lead to oral, cervical or anal cancer- a horrible outcome from an infection that is easily passed through skin-to-skin contact. There’s no test for it (although Pap tests screen for its after effects). Both men and women may carry it unknowingly. There’s an argument for latex right there, if you ask me.

If either you or your partner is positive for other viral STIs like herpes or HIV, then safe sex is an obvious choice. You can assume "everyone has herpes” but might be less likely to think about HIV. In Canada, women account for 1 in 4 new infections (see page 35 of this source). Those stats are closer to 1 in 2 for Aboriginal women (Same source, page 55). Are you familiar with the concept that you have sex with everyone your partner has had sex with? While bacterial STIs can be treated and eliminated, when it comes to viral STIs, the beat goes on and on.

While there are treatments for herpes and HIV, they can come with a high health cost in the form of side effects and tolerability. HIV treatments can prompt the development of other health complications like diabetes. And living with a highly stigmatized disease for the rest of your life probably isn’t what you’re looking for from a night of love.

You’re an adult- you choose. Just get your info lined up first.

- Janet

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This blog represents the ideas of individual writers, and does not necessarily reflect any formal stance taken by Positive Women's Network.

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Youshouldknow.ca is dedicated to women over 40 and our sexual health. This site provides clear, supportive information about sexual health and sexually transmitted infections so we can fully enjoy sex and relationships as we move into our middle years with partners new and old. Share resources and wisdom- we haven't gained our life experience for nothing! Get the answers at youshouldknow.ca.

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