Mourning Our Sexual Youth? No Way

My beloved friend Ann has a birthday coming up, and I’m determined to get her a good card, take her out to lunch and make much of her. We’ve known each other on and off since we were five, through separate classes and schools, then reuniting for good at University. She’s a keeper. We’ve discussed relationships in general, lovers in particular and sex on both fronts. Collectively, we’ve seen each other through big deals: dating, love, marriage, births of children, divorce, dating again and the ensuing safe sex talks, parents’ deaths and remarriage. We cherish each other and each other’s kids.

So how do I honour her with a card when the general themes of birthday cards lean to wetting our pants and lamenting our lost youth?

The implication is that we’re old and undesirable and our bodies are giving out on us. Lamenting youth isn’t something Ann or I do, because we’re glad we’re not there anymore. The mere mention of a name from our twenties will make one of us “Ohmygod” and laugh. Now that our kids are getting older, we’re bracing ourselves for that not so fuzzy future when we’ll see the similar hurdles and corners of young, painful love again, although this time vicariously.

And while it’s true that our bodies are changing, both of us agree that things are better in our forties. We know our bodies. We can ask for what we want sexually. Overall, we’re happy where we are, even if it has its health bumps. We relish life because we’re increasingly touched by its changes.

Maybe I’m taking the card thing too seriously. Wet pants or sagging breasts? Either will probably make her laugh. 

- Janet

Check This Out: Age is Just a Number

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