Looking Backwards Periodically

I remember my first period, but like most women, I won’t know my last period when it arrives. Rather than the face-the-future moment that the first period presented, menopause will be an over-the-shoulder realization, defined when I reach a calendar year without a period.  

Most women will go through years of perimenopause leading up to that unknown finale.  My friend Lisa says she’s almost reached the year point a couple of times and now “wishes it would just damn happen.” Another friend was told she had hit menopause at age 40, after a few confusing years that included dizzy spells and massive headaches that led to some testing. It turned out to be perimenopause in overdrive.

For some women menopause will hit suddenly when medical intervention is advised for health reasons, such as cancer-related treatments, but most of us will meander through changes in cycle length, period heaviness, and other differences that we may not realize are also related.

For example, the lack of memory for words is driving me crazy. “What’s that thing you hold and talk to people on?” I asked my partner after spluttering for the word. Or I find I’ll use a malapropism instead. Thankfully many of my friends are going through it too, and we all have patience and good senses of humour! 

For women who are going through spontaneous perimenopause, Paula Spencer points out that the range of menstrual normal is beyond the “28 day cycle” lots of us were taught in school. Knowing what’s your normal and what isn’t can put you at ease.

And speaking of ease, sex may become a little un-easy if vaginal dryness or flagging libido is an issue. Lube, laughter and leisurely foreplay (particularly before  penetration) can all help with changes. If you think of sex as about connection and not climax, it can take some pressure off you and your partner.

- Janet

Check This Out:
Memory lags as your periods do too? Here’s one theory: Maybe you forget it because you never learned it

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Youshouldknow.ca: sexual health news, views and science for women in perimenopause and beyond. Find info on preventing sexually transmitted infections, aging considerations, and relationship dynamics. Supportive information for all of us as we move into our middle years with partners new and old.