March 1, 2010
Has Your Self-Concept Changed with Age?
I recently caught an interesting interview with writer Todd Babiak about his forthcoming book, Toby: A Man. Babiak and interviewer Jian Ghomeshi talked about protagonist Toby and how his perceptions of manhood and himself change for the better over the course of the novel. During the interview, Babiak was passionate about how it would be easier to be a woman, as there’s more freedom to explore one’s self and there are fewer strictures pressed upon us to be certain ways. (Hmmm- I wonder if he’s ever felt he "should" be able to stuff himself into a set of size four clothes and he’s not good enough if he can’t. Plenty of women could speak to that.) I think the issue of how women and men are perceived in terms of socially expected behaviours is an interesting one. Both sexes receive messages from a very young age about what it means to be one or the other, and what transgression of roles could mean- accusations of being gay, or unfeminine for starters. These expectations can obviously and subtlely influence how we act in intimate relationships with men or women, from speaking our minds about fair division of work to how we negotiate safe sex. Are we "busting out" of a prescribed role, or fulfilling one? Whatever path we choose, how does it affect our sense of who we are in our private and intimate relationships? What do you think? Do you agree with Babiak that it’s easier to be a woman because we have more freedoms to explore a variety of possibilities without "compromising our womanhood"? (I did a search on "compromising manhood", expecting to find some political/philosophical info, but the first entry that came up was a site rife with articles about the size of men’s penises.) Have you found yourself changing your perception of "womanhood" and how you act as you’ve aged? Some women talk about having more confidence as they get older, a great boon at any time and particularly when you’re starting out in a new sexual relationship. But others experience more uncertainty as the mood swings that can accompany perimenopause cut holes in formerly strong self-confidence. Popular media messages about older women needing fixing with salves, treatments, endless exercise and food restrictions in pursuit of looking young as long as we can don’t help. There’s a balance between looking after ourselves for optimum physical, mental and spiritual health and pushing ourselves at the cost of it. I love books for the possibilities they offer, for imagining what could be. I haven’t read Babiak’s book, but I loved the passion with which he spoke of examining social perception, of how he spoke of change. - Janet Check Ths Out: Menopause is a Laughing Matter
This blog represents the ideas of individual writers, and does not necessarily reflect any formal stance taken by Positive Women's Network.
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