If Elephants Can Swim, You Can Talk About Safer Sex

February 1, 2010

If Elephants Can Swim, You Can Talk About Safer Sex

I bought this year’s calendar because its cover is a Steve Bloom photo of an elephant swimming. I didn’t know elephants could swim, but apparently they’re quite adept, using their trunks like snorkels. I love this elephant grace that suggests an “I can do anything” attitude. It makes me think we all have something inside we might not know is there.

Applying an “I can do anything” attitude to talking about safer sex can be a challenge, and particularly if:

… You’ve been out of the dating scene and it’s been a while since you had sex with someone new.

… You aren’t sure you know all the points of safer sex, are embarrassed to ask the kids, and find youth based websites don’t speak to you

… You don’t know where to start and feel ridiculously seventeen again.

You’re not alone. That “I can do anything” attitude can elude all of us when it comes to intimate things like sex. Even the most confident of us can feel unprepared when it comes to “the talk.” But you can’t avoid it- at this age, many people have long term STIs like herpes , which is easy to spread and extremely common. But what if revealing it spells rejection?

Like it or not, talking about safer sex is part of your relationship, whether it’s a fling or turns into something longer term. Avoiding disclosure of STIs won’t help, it just prolongs the agony. (Women with HIV face this all the time in relationships.)

You can introduce the topic through things that turn you on, be they sex toys, phone sex, fun ways to use condoms, flowers, a surprise picnic, etc. Being honest about your delights and desires gives your partner space to do the same.

You can talk openly about what you want, including how to make safer sex decisions together. Take a tip from an elephant: swim with your trunk held high, paddling where you want to go with grace. You do have it in you.

- Janet

Check This Out: Herpes Doesn’t Go Dormant

This blog represents the ideas of individual writers, and does not necessarily reflect any formal stance taken by Positive Women's Network.

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