But will they be used? Microbicides could change the feel of sex- some formulations could be slick like lube, and others thicker, like contraceptive jelly. How will that play in the moment? Will people be open to the different sensations microbicides (might) offer? How will they feel in varied sex play that could include oral sex?

These are questions that researchers were urged to consider at last week’s conference. We all have our preferences of how we like sex. While it will be great to have new HIV prevention tools, acceptability and adherence are key issues to their success.  

You might say “Of course people would use them!” But think about condoms- they’re effective for preventing HIV and other STIs, yet they’re not always used because people prefer sex without them, even with STI risk (or denial). For those who grew up sexually in the time where the Pill was the answer to safe sex between men and women, adjusting to condoms was a shift (and still needs work, as rising STI rates in older populations show).

Condoms have been part of our sexual culture for thousands of years and they can still prompt complicated feelings. If you carry them, you might feel too forward.  Some people feel awkward about bringing up condoms and safe sex. Others say they just aren’t comfortable. Microbicides will enter this same taut fray of feelings.

I am super excited about the possibility of them – the more safe sex options we have, the better and more confident we can be. How we work them into sexual culture and comfort is as important as the products themselves. What are you willing to try for safe sex?

- Janet

 photo: iStock

It’s not the threat to heart health it might seem to be, despite the racing beat that caffeine often delivers. And it’s not associated with cancer risk over a lifetime. Bonus- although as Joe Jackson once sang, that might change too.

Great things about coffee? It can improve your sexual stamina and alert you for a delightful morning romp. As one coffee lover writes, it’s romantic in that sense- alcohol can’t do the same by a long shot. Not to mention alcohol inhibits one’s ability to make decisions about safer sex. It’s also got its romantic meaning- first dates are often for coffee, instead of higher pressure dinner. And it might enhance our sex drives- it does for rats in lab studies, although they weren’t regular caffeine consumers.  

Coffee does have its down sides. At one point, women didn’t like the effects of coffee on their marriages. When men visited coffee houses (and then the brothels upstairs) women thought it was coffee causing their husbands’ lagging sexual interests, and tried to ban it. And if you’re prone to incontinence at all- not uncommon for us gals- caffeine can irritate a sensitive bladder.

But I’m not giving it up anytime soon. It’s too tasty, too laden with ritual and delight. And at this point in family and work life, I appreciate the jump start it delivers- in many ways.

- Janet 

photo: Morguefile

One researcher who has been studying endocrinology for years is Vancouver’s Dr. Jerilyn Prior. Founder of CEMCOR, the Centre for Menstrual Cycle and Ovulation Research, Prior’s work takes a different turn. Her research thus far indicates that’s it’s a deficit of progesterone, not estrogen, that contributes to challenges of perimenopause and menopause.

Given that standard HRT thinking has tagged a lack of estrogen as “the problem,” Dr Prior’s thesis hasn’t been a popular one. Yet she’s persevered with her research and talking about its results. She’s written a number of books on the topic- and notably, will have a page to herself in the new 40th anniversary edition of Our Bodies Ourselves that highlights her work. This latest research seems to support what she’s saying.

I’ve heard Dr Prior speak and read information on the CEMCOR site- her work makes sense to me. But every woman has to make sense of her own body and make health care decisions with her doctor. I’ll keep looking for info- it’s fascinating how information continues to roll out on these amazing bodies of ours.

- Janet

Facts are, some groups of women do show up more often in the statistics. In the US, it’s Black women. As statistics stand now, 1 in 30 Black women could get HIV in her lifetime- a horrible piece of math to think about in a group of friends.  Here in Canada, it’s Aboriginal women, who account for almost ½ of new diagnoses in Aboriginal populations. That’s akin to infection rates in some African countries.

The US Center for Disease Control recently launched a new campaign called Take Charge, Take the Test. It’s aimed at Black women in the hope of encouraging them to learn their HIV status so they can health care steps as needed.  

I like their tagline, which speaks to all women (substitute “her” as needed):
“You feel as if you’ve known him forever, but that doesn’t mean you know everything.”

And this is the truth of all STIs. So many don’t have obvious symptoms (especially for men), that some people don’t know they have them. HIV may produce a flu-like illness initially, but not always. Then a person can seem well for years before their immune system reaches a dangerous tipping point. Research has shown that the inflammatory impact of HIV starts right away, but it’s not obvious to the person with HIV.  

While this campaign is aimed at Black women, I suggest all women take the hint and get tested for HIV if you haven’t already. If you’re nervous about it, fair enough- there’s support a phone call away at your nearest HIV support organization. It can’t hurt, but it can certainly help.

- Janet

photo: iStock

Sharon’s pick was Brene Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability and mine was Susan Cain’s The Power of Introverts. They’re not about sexual health per se, but stick with me.

These two presentations spoke of individuality and community. Of embracing your own quirky self, along with worries and weaknesses. Of realizing that everyone gets stressed and anxious.

I really appreciated the talk about getting off the standard tracks of perfectionism and “ta da!” extroversion that we’re encouraged to embrace, often at the cost of our individuality. Breaking free from that thinking can change our lives. And here comes the sexual health part- breaking free from prescriptive ways of being can influence all parts of our lives for the better, sex included.

Give them a look/ listen. See what you think. And about how freeing yourself from prescription might be a benefit.

 - Janet

 photo: Morguefile

There is still a lot to take on- gender violence, equal rights, cultural “norms” that place girls and women behind men. Voting rights, control of money, property ownership, health care, and access to birth control options are all works in progress. These are just a few of the issues we have to take on. There’s a lot of work in progress.

And that is amazing. 

Women often face ongoing and frequently brutal adversity, but that doesn’t stop us. Women are resilient, resourceful, and passionate. 

Happy International Women’s Day to all women. To our girls- we’re working on a better future for you. 

Together. 

Janet 

Cross posted at Positive Women’s Network

photo: MorgueFile
 

It turns out that like a lot in life, it’s about relationships. In this case, it’s the word as well as the notion.  

Cindy says she’s talked to a number of women who’ve made her think about how we use the word relationship when we talk about sex. These women embody the study target group — over 25 (and often well beyond), newly dating, regularly dating the same men, having sex, and using technology to make those connections. But they say relationship doesn’t describe what’s going on. One woman said she’s dating several different people and having sex with all of them, but wouldn’t call any of them a relationship.

As pure definition, a sexual connection can be termed a “relationship,” as it describes how people relate to one another. But it’s a loaded word, and the cultural application might not ring true. If the implication is coupledom, women might not use it. For women who are newly divorced or separated, being in a Relationship isn’t necessarily what they’re looking for.

Seeing as Cindy’s keen to learn more about women’s sex habits to ultimately improve sexual health education and care, she’s had to think about how people measure the word- interesting stuff when it comes to talking to people about sexual health.

I look forward to hearing more about what women have to say. In the meantime, if you‘re newly dating, involved with men, and over 25, please consider taking part in the study. Your answers are anonymous, and could help contribute to better sexual health and education for women across the country.

- Janet

photo: iStock

Last week in Canada was the sentencing of three members of a family convicted of killing their own kin. Father, mother and son conspired to kill three daughters and a first wife. The term “honour killing” has been used and quickly refuted- what’s so “honourable” about killing women because they didn’t fit a cultural notion of acceptability? There was also a lot of attention on the community the family was part of, and representatives were quick to point out that this misogynistic killing isn’t acceptable in any shape or form.

In the Montreal Gazette, Naomi Lakritz suggests that using political correctness to call this recent case “domestic violence” just doesn’t cut it. She said the judgment in the case casts aside PC notions and calls it like it is- a horrific, culturally motivated killing that is unacceptable in Canada. She steps on tricky ground, recognizing that it’s easy to slip into racist notions that make divisions between people- but this is about violence. Violence and control of girls and women occurs in every culture all over the world, albeit to different extremes.

A piece from the Globe and Mail a couple of years ago focused on this range of violence-  while so-called cultural killings are gruesome and unacceptable, why is it that these family nightmares get the front page when the more frequent family nightmare of a man killing his wife or girlfriend isn’t noticed? Unless it’s particularly grisly, it’s not that interesting news because it happens all the time. Horrific. Point. Made. Yet it’s so common that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recently issued a statement urging doctors to screen women for domestic violence.

Violence initiated by males against females is rampant as well as repugnant. The dire extremity of it is death, which happens far too often, publicized or not. But action of controlling a woman’s choices about her clothing, friendships, sexual health and choices in sexual relationships is everywhere in every country and too many homes.

We hope, but can’t can’t assume, any backyard is safe.

- Janet

I will go on about a recent read, though. Ami McKay’s The Virgin Cure was a holiday gift (thanks L) and I’ve just finished it. If you read McKay’s first novel, The Birth House, you know her writing is poetic and dances with difficult subjects. The Virgin Cure carries on.

The Virgin Cure tells the story of girls and women in 19th century New York, where restrictions were many and opportunities few. Moth, a twelve year old cast out into the streets, joins “the training” to become a whore (the word of the day). A caring female (!) doctor worries that Moth will be used for “the virgin cure” – a man’s attempt to rid himself of syphilis, which in those days was incurable.  

It is beautifully written, though its topic is hard to read. It reminded me of the recent “virgin cure” mythology that having sex with a virgin will cure HIV. This one is also untrue, but like the days of the syphilis cure, used nonetheless. Even babies have been raped in the attempt to find a cure. There is no cure for HIV, although there’s treatment that can make it almost medically bearable- the social stigma is a different thing.

Thanks goodness for women like Betty Makoni in Zimbabwe who founded the Girl Child Network to help survivors of sexual abuse who have been targeted for the virgin cure. I’m grateful she’s there for the after effect, but wish to all the power we humans have that this wouldn’t have to be the case.

Education about how HIV is transmitted, prevented and treated should be available to anyone and everyone. Providing our children and our adult selves solid comprehensive sexual health information is as necessary as teaching morals. I choose morals as that accompaniment specifically, as I’ve heard it claimed that teaching sex education goes against morals. I say that teaching someone how their body works and how disease/ illness can affect it is part of a larger conversation about how we care for ourselves and each other in the world, of which morals are a part.

But even with education, there are the gender imbalances. *Deep sigh.*

One lament per post.

A great read, reminder and reason for thorough sex education and standing up for kids’ rights, I do recommend The Virgin Cure. And resolve to continue in sex education and sexual health rights.

Janet

Loved this “Best of re:Cycling Blog” list  from the The Society for Menstrual Cycle research.  DO read the “Menopause isn’t for Dummies” post- good old Roseanne is at it for those of us in perimenopause.  

Best science crud of the year: Celebrities deliver “health” information. Thanks to colleague Robyn Sussel over at Signals for this one. 

Florida’s Sun Sentinel sums up the “Top Ten Sexual Health Events of 2011” Coverage on teens, boomer sexuality, sex education and living longer with HIV.
 
Happy New Year to all!

- Janet

Photo: winnond / FreeDigitalPhotos.net